Facebook, We Have a Problem, And a Solution Exists

deadhorsebeat_2 At least, it could…

I rant about all of the stupid quizzes on Facebook. I bet some of my friends wonder why. How about a simple demonstration — a list of all the quizzes that have “graced” my news feed (and that I blocked).

I have hope (some, at least…). Facebook could let us define our newsfeeds to include only the items that interest us. For example, I like to see status updates, photos, links, and notes. I don’t like to see apps and quizzes.

Facebook lets me see only status updates, or only photos, or only links, or only notes. Just not all of them in the same stream.

Yeah, I’m grumpy. :-/

On with the list:

  1. “Which molecule are you?”
  2. Are You A Good Seventh Day Adventist?
  3. Are you a Mac or are you a PC?
  4. Are You a MORON?
  5. Are You a TRUE Pacific Northwesterner?
  6. Are you Demi, Selena, Miley or Taylor?
  7. are you hot, cute, or nto so good l…
  8. Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
  9. Can you finish the lyrics?
  10. Do You Make A Better Man or Woman?
  11. Dr. Phil’s Personality Test
  12. Driving Test
  13. Dumb Blonde Test
  14. GoToQuiz Polls and Quizzes
  15. How ______ are you?
  16. How Addicted to Facebook are you?
  17. How American are You?
  18. How Asian are you?
  19. How Blonde Are You?
  20. How burmese are you?
  21. How Californian are You?
  22. How Californian are you?
  23. How Common is your name?
  24. How Fresno are you?
  25. How fun are you?
  26. How Gay Are You?
  27. How GIRLY Are You?
  28. How good is your medical knowledge?
  29. How Italian are you?
  30. How Korean Are You?
  31. How long would you survive in a hor…
  32. How Minnesotan Are You?
  33. How Much Are You Worth??
  34. How much do you know about Social Work
  35. How much of an Oregonian are you?
  36. how OCD are you?
  37. How Old Do You Act?
  38. How old do you look?
  39. How Oregon Are You?
  40. How Pacific Islander are you?
  41. how pretty are you?
  42. How random are you?
  43. how tall are you going to be?
  44. How VIOLENT and ANGRY are you?
  45. How Well Do You Know Me?
  46. How Well do you know Women??
  47. How well do you remember the 80’s?
  48. If I were a dog quiz
  49. If you were a soda, which would you…
  50. In your circle of friends, who are …
  51. Indian & Bangladeshi food
  52. IQ test
  53. IQ Test
  54. Is there a Painter Within? What is…
  55. LivingSocial
  56. Personality Test
  57. Personality traits by birth month
  58. Quizopolis
  59. Seriously which state should you li…
  60. Sex and the city – which one are you?
  61. Sex Position Quiz
  62. That’s not even a question.
  63. The Brain Game
  64. The Hardest Quiz On This Website!
  65. The Hardest Spongebob quiz ever!!!
  66. The Political Idealogy Quiz
  67. The True Age Test
  68. weSocial Quizzes
  69. What ‘Big Lebowski’ character am I?
  70. What “Periodic Element” are you?
  71. What % Gay are you?
  72. What 70’s t.v. show character are you?
  73. What 90’s Nickelodeon tv show chara…
  74. What 2009 Song Are You?
  75. What 2009 song are you?
  76. What ACCENT should you have?
  77. What Actor are you?
  78. What Age Will You Get Married?
  79. what aniaml are you?
  80. What are the initials of the person…
  81. what are you born to do?
  82. What Beatle song best describes you?
  83. What Bible Character are You?
  84. What Calvin alter ego are you?
  85. What Calvin and Hobbes Character Ar…
  86. What Car fits you the best?
  87. What cell phone should you have?
  88. What Children’s Book Are You?
  89. What Chinese Symbol Are You?
  90. What Circle Of Hell Are You In?
  91. What classic Disney movie describes…
  92. What Classic Pokemon are you?
  93. What color are you?
  94. What color are you?
  95. What color crayon are you?
  96. What color is your heart?
  97. What color sharpie are you?
  98. What Color Should You Get in Your H…
  99. What colour are you?
  100. What colour is your heart?
  101. What colour is your soul?
  102. What Cute Love Quote Are You
  103. What Death Note character are you?
  104. What Decade Fits Your Personality B…
  105. What Desperate Housewife are you?
  106. what disney character are you?
  107. What do others see in your eyes?
  108. WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK OF YOU AT FIRS…
  109. What do your eyes say about you?
  110. What do your eyes say?
  111. What does the week you were born sa…
  112. What does your birthday mean?
  113. What does your birthday say about you?
  114. What does your siqn say about you…..
  115. What Dog Breed Are You?
  116. what dress are you?
  117. What drug are you most like?
  118. What ethnicity are you, REALLY?
  119. What famous artist are you most like?
  120. What Famous Movie Is That Line From?
  121. What hair color should you have?
  122. What is God’s gift in you?
  123. What is the picture of your mind?
  124. What is the theme song of ur life???
  125. What is your greatest fear?
  126. What is your Hippie Name?
  127. What is your Maturity level?
  128. What is your ministry calling?
  129. What is your patronus?
  130. What is your personality type??
  131. What Is Your Theme Song?
  132. What is your true age?
  133. What is your true love’s name
  134. What Kind of -oholic are you?
  135. What kind of dragon are you?
  136. What kind of girl are you..??[only …
  137. What kind of mask do you wear?
  138. What kind of mom are you
  139. what kind of soul do you have
  140. What kind of storm are you?
  141. What label are you?
  142. What light do you bring to the world?
  143. What Lord of the Rings Character ar…
  144. What Name Brand Are You?
  145. What nationality are you?
  146. What nickname best fits you? (Girls…
  147. What Number Are You Thinking?
  148. What Prince song are you?
  149. What Princess Bride character are you?
  150. What Random Object Are You?
  151. What Religion Should You Be?
  152. What rock band are you?
  153. What Room Style Are You??!!
  154. What season are you?
  155. What Sex and the City character are…
  156. What Should Your Dissertation Topic…
  157. What should your major be?
  158. What Should Your Parents Have Named…
  159. What should your parents have named…
  160. What Sport Were You Born To Play?
  161. What Star Trek character are you?
  162. What State should i live in?
  163. What Taylor Swift song are you?
  164. What type of anger do you have?
  165. What type of flower are you?
  166. What Type Of Girl Are YOU!
  167. What Type Of Girl Are you?
  168. What type of Jewel are you?
  169. What type of person are you?
  170. What Type of Personality Do You Have?
  171. What type of shoe defines you?
  172. What type of woman are you?
  173. What U.S. state do you belong in?
  174. What Winnie the Pooh character are …
  175. What Winnie the Pooh character are …
  176. What Work of Literature Are You?
  177. what your attitude says about u
  178. What’s the first letter of the pers…
  179. What’s the first letter of the pers…
  180. What’s your Actual Age?
  181. What’s Your Bible IQ?
  182. What’s your geek level?
  183. What’s your life rated? (G,PG,PG-13…
  184. What’s your Native American Indian …
  185. What’s your old lady name?
  186. What’s your perfect outfit?
  187. Whats The Annitials Of The Person Y…
  188. Whats your hidden talent?
  189. When will you get married?
  190. Where are you meant to live??
  191. Where in the World?
  192. Where should you live in Utah?
  193. Which 60’s subculture would you bel…
  194. Which 80’s band are you?
  195. Which Andy Griffith Show Character …
  196. Which BADASS thing are you?
  197. Which band would you be in?
  198. Which Beatles song Are You?
  199. Which Beatles song are you?
  200. Which Beatles Song Best Describes You?
  201. Which Car suits your Personality?
  202. Which Celebrity Are You?
  203. Which celebrity should you marry?
  204. Which celebrity would play you in a…
  205. Which celebrity would play you in a…
  206. Which Classic Hollywood Actress Are…
  207. Which Classic Muscle Car Are You?
  208. Which color best suits your persona…
  209. Which color is your aura?
  210. Which corny pick-up line suits you …
  211. Which country girl are you?
  212. Which crazy bitch are you?
  213. Which Disney Princess Are You?
  214. Which element are you?
  215. Which Evil, Evil Person in History …
  216. Which Famous People Share Birthday …
  217. Which Firefly Character Are You?
  218. Which flower are you?
  219. Which Food Network Personality Are …
  220. Which Founding Father are You?
  221. Which Gay Icon Are You?
  222. Which Golden Girl are you?
  223. Which Great Philosopher Are You?
  224. Which historical female figure are …
  225. Which historical figure are you?
  226. Which is your Dream Home?
  227. Which is your dream house?
  228. Which Jedi Are You?
  229. Which legendary warrior are you?
  230. Which Liquor Are You?
  231. Which Looney Tunes Character are you?
  232. Which man of the Bible are you most…
  233. Which Marvel Superhero Are You?
  234. Which mean girl are you?
  235. Which model are you?
  236. Which Monty Python and the Holy Gra…
  237. Which Nintendo Character Are You?
  238. Which of Rose’s dogs are you most l…
  239. Which of the “Seven Princesses of P…
  240. Which One Tree Hill girl are you?
  241. Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz?
  242. Which Peanuts Character Are You?
  243. Which philosopher are you?
  244. Which Psychotherapist Are You?
  245. Which punk rock star are you?
  246. Which secret society should you bel…
  247. Which side of your brain is dominant?
  248. Which Skakespearean quote are you?
  249. Which Star Trek: The Next Generatio…
  250. Which total badass are you?
  251. Which Transformer are You?
  252. Which TV Mom are You?
  253. Which US President are you?
  254. Which Veggie Meat are You?
  255. Which X-men character are you?
  256. Who are you…. really?
  257. Who Is Your Celebrity Twin?
  258. Who Is Your Disney Prince?
  259. Who is your soulmate??
  260. Who Should Direct the Movie of Your…
  261. Who Were You In A Past Life?
  262. Who’s Your Hollywood Hunk?
  263. Whooooooo r u
  264. Why kind of guy do YOU attract?
  265. Your ideal job.
  266. Your Name in Pictures
  267. Your Personality Color

beat-dead-horsePlease note: these are only the quizzes. I have a lengthy list of blocked apps as well.

1. You get bonus points if you recognized the “beating a dead horse” animated gifs are different at the top and bottom of this post. I figured you needed some reward for making it all the way down here. It’s all I got.
2. Yeah, this list was already out of date before I could publish it. Another stupid incoming quiz.
3. #getoffmylawn

Neither Politics Nor Religion

It’s said that one never speaks of politics or religion in polite company. Here I’ve done both. In fact, my definition of a true friend includes being able to discuss both and showing up to help on moving day.

Why do we talk politics? What’s the point? Is it to win votes for your candidate? Or is it to feel superior to the “idiots” who disagree with you? Good luck with both of those.

My new goal is to avoid being a new media douchebag, and I’m not sure it’s working. In my attempt I am swearing off writing about partisan politics. (Yeah, I’m reserving the right to write about political issues and religion.)

In my political burnout I’m also unsubscribing from “offending” blogs. If I unsubscribe from you please don’t take it personally. I’ll resubscribe after the elections.

Or, maybe I won’t.

Google’s Real Reason for Chrome

Call me cynical, but I think there’s more to Google’s new Chrome browser than a stable platform for web apps. At least, I hope so. My experience with Chrome has been a mixed bag. Although I love Chrome’s clean appearance, it has issues:

  • Adobe Reader makes all of Chrome’s tabs inaccessible until the document is fully loaded.
  • Attempting to select all the text in a text form field by pressing CTRL-A sometimes results in selecting the entire page.
  • Streamed audio using Windows Media plugin in one Chrome tab will stutter like a skipping record while another tab renders.
  • Chrome even has issue with Google’s web apps (especially Google’s web apps?). For example, the “J” key doesn’t always mark an item as read in Google Reader, especially if there’s only one unread post.

No, if stability was its goal, Google would have (should have) waited.

Google is an advertising company. The more data Google gets, the better it can target its advertising. I can imagine Google’s engineers sitting around a conference room table, scheming to get even more data from us. “I know,” one particularly devious engineer must have laughed. “What if we could get all the searches people do on any web site, not just on Google?” “How could we ever do that?” another might have asked. The answer was simple: make sure they use a Google tool for all searches. Chrome’s Omni bar is that tool.

Every URL you ever type into your Omni bar goes straight to Google, whether you press enter or not. If you use the tab key to search other sites from the Omni bar, Google gets that, too.

Sure, it’s possible to hide this data from Google, but do you want to give up all the help the Omni bar provides as you type? Not me!

And that’s what Google’s betting on.

What do you think? Are you buying Google’s story?

Or am I being too cynical?

One More Inane Blog Post on the Intertubes, This One About Bathroom Paper Towel Dispensors

I got to bed late last night, so today’s post is lame and rambling, just like always. Scott Adams

The restrooms at work have those motion activated paper towel dispensers. You know the type: wave your dripping hand in front of the sensor, it dispenses a length of paper towel. Want more paper? You have to tear off the sheet before it will give you more.

My first reaction: I wish I’d invented these. They’re everywhere. Somebody’s making money.

My next reaction: this was a solution in search of a problem but didn’t find it. Motion activation in the restroom must be a great idea, right? After all, who wants to touch levers in the bathroom after someone else who was doing you know what? And motion sensors for most of the stuff in the restroom makes sense. You wouldn’t want them activating at random times. That could waste water or soap. Worse, they probably wouldn’t activate until long after they should. (Reminds me of the April fool’s announcement that the automatic toilets would flush after every other use to save water, but I digress…)

The concern about waste doesn’t apply to paper towel dispensers. If the paper is dispensed before it’s needed, it just hangs there waiting. It doesn’t go down the drain. It doesn’t somehow prematurely age. And as a wonderful side effect, it’s ready when you are.

So why not design the paper towel dispenser to always have a length of paper ready to tear off? When paper’s torn off, it would dispense another length. No hand waving necessary.

Requiring tear sensors wouldn’t add cost; the motion activated dispensers already have them. If you’re concerned that someone will take (and waste) an additional length of paper merely because it was so readily offered, have the dispenser delay for a few seconds before dispensing another length.

My work here is done. Time to go home (or find something else to rant about).

Nordstrom: No More Pianists

Nordstrom will no longer have live piano music in its stores, claiming its customers “compliment canned music more often than live musicians.”

Ignoring for the moment Nordstrom’s laughable excuse for wanting to saving money, this is sad news. My children take piano lessons. Their piano highlight of the year is to play at Nordstrom during the Christmas season. It seems to be a hit with the shoppers, too, as quite a few would walk over and visit with my children between songs.

Maybe Nordstrom will keep the Christmas student pianist tradition. As the article says, “stores may bring back live music for special occasions.” Plus, Nordstrom doesn’t pay the students.

Next time I’m at the mall I’m going to take a quick trip by Nordstrom’s customer service desk. I can only image the line of shoppers that will be waiting there to compliment the canned music.

I Don’t Get Facebook

There. I said it. Let the ridicule begin. Another old fogy doesn’t understand social sites. As my niece says, “What ‘ev’.”

I started social networking on MySpace. Yeah, I know — I’m a little old for MySpace, regardless of what the experts claim. I signed up to see what my daughters were doing online and to see what all the noise was about. Noise is right. MySpace is awash with clashing colors, huge background images, and tiny fonts. And the noise isn’t limited to visual. I’m blasted with bulletins on whether my teenage friends enjoyed their last kiss, whether they prefer Pepsi or Coke, if they’re double jointed, and if someone’s smacked them in the butt in the past week. Let’s hear it for transparency…

I joined Facebook when it opened to non-college students. I liked the clean interface, no soft porn masquerading as dating site ads, and no Bambi’s wanting to be my friend so I could visit their websites. People use their real names so I didn’t have to remember who “<3 Y0ur Fa\/3 [jk]” is.

Unfortunately, Facebook changed when it opened up for external aps. What a mess! With MySpace, if I find a cool widget, I can put it on my profile. No mess, no fuss. When I add something to my Facebook profile, Facebook wants to spam all my friends with requests to put it on their profiles and then every time I change something, spam them again. What’s worse, most of these “cool” apps don’t seem to work unless my visitors also installs the same apps on their profiles. What?!

Of course, my friends are installing these apps, and I’m getting spammed with requests to compare tastes in movies, be a pirate, and see if someone has clicked “YES” on me (oh boy!). I’m ignoring most of this stuff and probably upsetting my friends in the process. So much for Facebook helping me in the friend arena…

Now Facebook seems to think they can publish my online purchases made on other sites. If I want you to know I bought Rogaine, Cialis or just a new Telecaster, I’ll post it here. I don’t appreciate Facebook making money by telling my friends my secrets.

Guess I’m just unsociable.

P.S. Oh, joy! I just logged on to MySpace and discovered that MySpace is going to spam my friends, too.

Update: Hugh Macleod at gapingvoid posts on the same topic, “Why Facebook Might be Consigning Themselves to the Slushpile of History.”