I want a new bike, but I’m not looking for speed. I’m looking for comfort and utility. I want an upright seating position. A soft, cushy seat. A chain guard to keep my pant leg clean. A rack to hold my stuff. And fenders to prevent the “gutter stripe” up my back. I definitely want fenders.
In other words, I want something like this:
Yeah, I hear you “serious” bicyclists.1Why is it that those who consider bicycling to be a sport are the “serious” cyclists? That bike isn’t efficient. It’s not aerodynamic. It’s not light. It’s not fast. I’d be sore after riding it 50 miles, maybe even 20.
You’re probably right — and I don’t care. I don’t want to ride 50 miles. I only want to ride 3.3 miles to work, 2.0 miles to the grocery store and Starbucks,2That reminds me: I want a cup holder, too. or 2.1 miles to the Hillsboro Farmers’ Market or the hobby shop.3Yeah, I also want to ride back home… Besides, if I want to go long distances on roads or tackle mountain paths, I have other bikes.
Light weight and lots of gears don’t matter to me. Hillsboro’s pretty flat; I don’t need to climb hills.
I don’t need fast. Even if it takes me three times as long as you, I’m not going to get there much later. And my neck won’t be sore from hunching over drop bars. I’ll have biked upright, able to look around and enjoy the scenery.
I’ll arrive with a smile on my face.
Ding, ding!
Sound Credit: “Bike Bell Sound Effect” by crankdatbuttcrack on YouTube. Used by permission.
- 1Why is it that those who consider bicycling to be a sport are the “serious” cyclists?
- 2That reminds me: I want a cup holder, too.
- 3Yeah, I also want to ride back home… Besides, if I want to go long distances on roads or tackle mountain paths, I have other bikes.
4 responses to “I Want a New Bike”
Take a look at the Coker Monster Cruiser:
https://www.cokertire.com/tires/styles/motorcycle-bike/men-s-monster-cruiser-bicycle.html
Traditional style, 36″ wheels, easy riding.
Oh, that is too cool!
Riding that might feel like the red Schwinn cruiser I learned to ride on way back when, when I was not quite as tall.
Proud of you, cousin! You have reached the land of “comfort” rather than the land of “cool”. I believe most people who have had the courage to go there before they reach 60, have wondered what was so great about “cool” anyway.
Woah, woah, WOAH, there Nellie. Who said comfort isn’t cool? Or maybe, some of us are so cool, it doesn’t matter what we ride.
Yeah, okay. It’s not cool and I don’t care. :-)
Ding, ding!