Dear Shoeless in 18D

Dear Blabby,

I’ll be flying home tonight from a hard business trip in a crowded 737. I like to remove my shoes and wiggle my toes. It helps me relax. Is that okay? My feet don’t smell. People probably won’t notice, and if they do, the plane will be dark and crowded. They won’t know it’s me. Hey, if it was a Japanese restaurant, I’d have to take off my shoes. Besides, they made me take off my shoes going through security. It’s only fair I get to remove them on the plane.

Sitting in 18D

Dear Shoeless in 18D,

I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner. Really sorry. You see, I was in 18F. You were wrong on all counts: people will notice, they’ll know it’s you, and a 737 ain’t no Japanese restaurant. Notice they served you mini pretzels and a Coke, not rice and fish. Next time, have some compassion on your fellow travelers, or at least some (un)common courtesy.

Besides, if the TSA is your idea of courtesy, next time you fly, how about you let us paw through your belongings and grope you all over?

Oops, I lied. You were right about one thing: your feet don’t smell — they stink.

Blabby, gasping for fresh air in 18F